Staying in the now, the present, not leaping forward or back, but simply being here, in this moment, takes practice.
Why is being in the now vital? My Guru, Daniel Belum, teaches, that being in the moment is how we experience life. We miss out on this beautiful life we’re creating, building, enjoying, when we leap forward into worry or leap backwards into regret.
There is no way to change the past. Yet, we can find our minds wandering backwards creating stories about how things went, what could have gone differently, or even simply reexperiencing the pain or joy of a memory. Is that bad? Well no. Not if we know about labels, but that’s for another blog about bad and good and labels being another habit I’m working on breaking.
Our memory isn’t real. It’s simply our minds way of retelling a story. That story can be exceptional, filled with love and fondness. That memory can be terrible, filled with trauma and grief. Either way, clinging to the memory, reliving the memory, takes us out of the present.
There have been many many years of my life spent in my imagination. That’s a bit different, though in the same realm I suppose, as future-casting. My mind will create a future that’s slightly different from right now and I’ll find myself lingering there. Perhaps my mind is doing an exceptional job with it’s super-powered imagination and it’s created an entire new universe for me where I’m a botanist on a lunar colony.
There’s a poison in not staying in the now. We miss out on birds chirping, and we miss out on the pain we might be feeling that’s necessary to heal and move on. Guru teaches that if we don’t speak it, we act it. It took me a while to grok that. What that means in staying in the now is, when we avoid the current situation, regardless of why, we are skipping experience. We’re here to experience!
How do I stay in the now then? My practice begins with awareness. He taught me early on, “return to the breath.” When my mind wanders, frets, day dreams taking over, or worry takes over, my body responds to that. Our minds are these amazing things that deliver experience to us. Even if that experience isn’t “real” or currently happening. Memories and thoughts come with emotions attached to them. We think and then the feeling arises. What are we avoiding in being in the now? Boredom? Difficulty? For me, it’s mostly habit.
When you’re young and have a vivid imagination that’s your best companion, you can tend to live in your mind rather than out of your head. I’m learning at a half century old, to see when that happens and think, Oh yes thank you mind, but for now let’s just be still. Focus on work now. Listen to these birds. Write!
I recently learned from Guru about 7/11 breathing. He taught this during an anxiety for stage performers class, belly dancers specifically. This is now my favorite breath technique for when my mind is wandering, or when I’m anxious about performing.
7/11 Breath Technique
1) Identify what’s causing anxiety, fear, worry or what you’re distracted by that’s taking you out of the now. Give that a number from 1-10.
2) Breathe in for 7 seconds, breathe out for 11 seconds. If this seems very hard at first, that’s ok, it’ll get easier.
3) Repeat step 2 a few times then re-evaluate you’re number.
4) If I’m dealing with anxiety, I generally practice this until I’m at a 2. If I’m wanting to get into the now, I simply breathe in 7/11 pattern until I’m firmly back in the now.
This is a new technique for me and I used other techniques previously which I’ll write about in other postings. 7/11 is my go-to because it’s simple to remember when I need a quick go-to to ground myself.
Do you use a breathing technique to help stay in the now or calm your anxiety? Please share in the comments and if you try 7/11 breathing, I hope it works out well for you too!
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